tall tear flavoured mocca

No matter how much I try to ignore Valentines Day it always gets me down. I sat at Starbucks in Omiya station yesterday morning sipping on an afternoon mocca watching the people pass below. I had a card in my purse from Margot in Vancouver. For some odd reason I felt like crying. I don’t know who I am right now, I don’t think I’ve ever been so confused in my life. Margot’s words of encouragement brought me to tears. I have so many special people in my life and yet here I am on the other side of the world. I don’t understand what I’m doing here. A little voice inside my head associates a city I love with a whole lot of heartache and I don’t know how to make the pain stop. I thought it would stay in Toronto but it manages to find me here. It hides in the oddest places, a bottle of shampoo when I’m in the shower, a reflection of myself when I’m on the train, a look of complete wonderment in a little child’s eyes or in a cup of coffee at a busy train station. These momentary lapses of reason pass by quickly though, it’s nothing a couple of big breaths can’t help.

Thankfully I have a new gay boyfriend. We shared the same sentiments at work yesterday over a ton of chocolates. I think I had the perfect Valentines date last night. There’s nothing better than going out for beers and revealing your most inner self to a perfect stranger.

Listening to Kings of Convenience Quiet is the New Loud